I know, I know, it’s Tuesday. I haven’t permanently switched days on you, it just so happens that the last two Mondays have been just silly enough to the point that I couldn’t write a blog post. Hopefully, by next Monday, things will have settled down.
But ANYWAY, guess where yours truly is?? That’s right! Sitting on a thin blanket on top of a mattress pad on top of my bed frame in my brand-spanking-new apartment!! I spent Tuesday night through Monday morning at home in Pleasanton, lounging around my sister’s old bedroom by day and galavanting about the town with Camille by night. I must say, we had a pretty productive few days, seeing as she has work almost all day. She had to watch me get mimosa-drunk at 10:30am and saunter around the Farmer’s Market with me on Saturday and I think she really enjoyed herself. Don’t worry, there was hot-tubbing and chocolate milkshakes later in the evening to reward her hard work. She earned it.
On Sunday, I attended my twenty-third Mountain Play, an annual production taking place in an outdoor amphitheater on Mount Tamalpais. They do a different play/musical every year, and this year was Peter Pan. I have been every single year since I was born. I have not missed one. You see, my weird commitment/loyalty/attachment thing manifested itself in me very early. The production was fantastic. The hike up there was equally fantastic. Thank God for the Bay.
And now, here I am, after my first night alone in my new apartment, staring at all of my trash bags, filled with clothes and shoes and shot glasses, trying to figure out exactly how I’m going to tackle all of this. Oh, did I mention I don’t technically have internet? Yeah. I’m using my phone’s Hot Spot thing right now. The internet guy doesn’t come until Friday. Friday. It’s Tuesday. It’s Tuesday right now and I won’t have real internet until Friday. Let that sink in, millennials. So guess who’s gonna be spending the day in Orange tomorrow??? Get ready to get your wifi stolen, friends!
In addition to the general mess of my apartment, there are still so many things I need to physically go out and get. I even have a list. But that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I also need to order furniture online, but because I live in a secure apartment building, I don’t know the policy on how the IKEA people are supposed to drop off my stuff. That fact alone, me not knowing how that works, is making me too lazy to order it. I’m too lazy to go online and order furniture. That’s happening, you guys. I carried all of my insanely heavy things up to my apartment from my car, but I can’t bring myself to push “Order Now” on IKEA.com. I also can’t roll myself out the door and down to my car to drive it. I need a bunch of stuff from a store that’s not too far away. And I can’t go. I’m also starving. But whatever, I guess I’m just going to rot here on this blanket on a mattress pad on my bed frame in my room. I’m actually getting sleepy just thinking about it. I wonder if I have time to nap? Ah, who am I kidding? I make my own rules now! I have time for whatever! I’m an adult! I have a big girl apartment! Look how adult I am! Mortgage! Charles Schwab! The DOW! Champagne in glasses!
And with that, I’m going to curl up with my giant stuffed bear, my warmest blanket, and my undergraduate degree, and take a nap.
As Mindy Kaling once said, “True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.”